I think our friend L. has an eating disorder.

She's been dating this wretched fellow on and off for about a year. He's dumped her unceremoniously a few times and plays mind games with her when they are together. For the past few months she's been denying that they're back together, but friends have seen them in public together and she's become extremely difficult to get in touch with. She won't answer her cell phone when we call, doesn't return calls, etc.

The last time they broke up, I took her to lunch and she confessed to me that the boyfriend was a borderline anorexic himself, and that he'd said things to her along the lines of: "If you gain weight, that's a sign of disrespect to me. I expect you to stay very thin if we stay together." He had serious body image issues.

Which she agreed was shocking and horrifying.

Now L. is already very fit; in ordinary times she was about 5'7" and weighed probably about 125. These are stats I myself only dream about.

Other influential factors in L.'s life: she recently graduated from her master's program (in psychology counseling, ironically), moved into a studio apartment with no stove, and took a very low-paying job. So she's recently been trying to not eat out because of money issues (which means that when she does go out to eat with us, she rarely eats). And she can't cook in her apartment.

She's also become absolutely obsessed with exercise. She gets up every morning at 5 a.m. to jog for an hour, and works out at her gym at work every afternoon.

She showed up at a Christmas party the other night and was absolutely skin and bones. She looks like she's dropped about 15 pounds, which means she looks skeletal. I put my arm around her and shuddered; I could feel her shoulder blades protruding sharply through her shirt.

She announced to our friend J. that she's switched to a vegan diet for the past 6 months. Which isn't true, because I've seen her eating cheese and meat from time to time.

We think she's hiding the fact that she's starving herself. By refusing to join us for situations that involve food. By not coming around much. By insisting that while everybody at the table is enjoying pumpkin pie and fudge, she'd really rather have raw broccoli.