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1�0�101010�0�1 2004-01-05, 9:51 p.m.

On the eve of my 30th anniversary as an earthling


Egads, 29 days since my last update. I've been lost in holiday bliss. That wasn't sarcastic. The holidays were the loveliest in recent memory. Nine days of complete relaxation and three very happy dogs, interspersed only occasionally by a motherly guilt trip. One can't have it all, I suppose.

A. was totally relaxed. He was strangely amorous, actually, which was the opposite of what I expected he'd be after meeting the hillbilly family.

Home has never felt so good. I find myself wanting to plan my next trip back.

Friday night, we went to a bar with my parents and drank with the locals. My stepmunster danced on the tables. We played euchre with my parents' neighbors, who we'd just met (God, I love euchre. Nobody plays euchre outside of Ohio. It's the only game I've ever gotten good at.). We listened to the same Toby Keith song three times (my parents danced each time) without suffering total humiliation.

I never thought I'd get to the point where I felt comfortable in my own skin within the ciy limits of that place (or in general, really). But now I do.

So a few days late for this, but I have a few resolutions. Actually, they're more like mottos. I have my own personal bumper stickers plastered on my brain to help me get through every day of 2004:

1. No Fear (with apologies to the skaters)

2. Attitude is everything.

3. I'm only responsible for my own happiness.

4. Do you really need those shoes? (in the spirit of saving for a house)

5. Do what feels good (possibly counteracting motto #5)

6. I'm OK. (In full support of motto #1).

#1 is actually the biggest thing for me. I'm so tired of being scared — of how people perceive me, of being caught off guard or made to feel stupid. No fear. Life's too short.

All these self-affirmations might have something to do with the fact that I'm turning 30 tomorrow. I've spent 10 years trying to figure it all out. Now, I need to prove that I learned something along the way.





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