No. I can't.

When will I stop being the overachiever? Because it really does have to stop. My head will finally cave in, as it's been threatening to do.

One curious thing about the first 9 days of the year is that I've had this voracious appetite. I'm hungry ALL THE TIME. I'm hungry now. I'll be hungry after lunch. I'll be hungry late into the night tonight. Then I eat giant meals, feel sick, and am hungry again an hour later.

"Maybe I'm pregnant," I said to A. last night. Actually, that thought crosses my mind with every afflication I have. He's sort of tired of the joke.

Now as I write in my diary, there is a banner ad at the top of the page that has hot dogs on it. With mustard and onions. That is not helping.

So we are following this project plan that I developed for wedding planning over the weekend. It's working. I've accomplished a lot in the past few days, including:

• Calling some potential officiants, who are all women with three names, have Ph.D.'s in Non-Confrontational Comparative Spirtual Consciousness or something, and specialize in gay/lesbian and Wicca ceremonies. Northern California is a hoot.

• Researching the honeymoon. We are going to Maui. Maui is not affordable in any way, shape, or form. We finally found a place that looks pretty good, but something tells me that nothing will actually live up to our expectations. I also found out that I have enough miles on American to buy one of our airline tickets, which means we don't necessarily need to schedule an itinerary with 4 connections. Yay.

• Figuring out the flower situation. This has been the biggest pain in my ass. I'm resolved not to spend more than 500 bucks on flowers. I am not royalty. I do not need lush/exotic/unforgettable "floral creations." I need some pretty roses on a table.

As usual, I am uncomfortable with this many loose ends, and it's making me a little crazy. I'm really looking forward to my wedding. But I'm also sort of looking forward to finishing the planning and just doing it.