(My mother was incredulous. "Your father, spending the money to go to the Caribbean?" Every time my mom and I talk, actually, we embark on the same conversation, though the underlined part is completely interchangeable: "join the country club?", "build a new house?", "buy the Stepmunster expensive jewelry?", etc.)

Anyway, my father and started talking about the supposed upcoming war. And my father, who rarely expresses an opinion about current events, said: "I'm very worried about this war. We're going to war though. My guess is that we'll be at war in the next week."

That sort of shook me. My dad was in the military at one point and, when he bothers to pay attention to what's going on the world, he usually ends up being quite wise about things like this.

My dad is in fact forever linked in my mind to the beginning of the Gulf War. I was about 16, and my parents had recently separated. My mother went bowling and drinking on Wednesday nights, and we were home alone. And the war started. My brother and I were fixed to the television, listening to Bernie Shaw and Wolf Blitzer freaking out under their hotel room beds.

I was terrified. And fascinated. As a child during the Reagan years, I always worried that we were about to be annihilated, but this was the first time our country had honestly been at war since I was born.

And my father called just then. He was watching the news in his depressing little apartment, and he wanted to find out how we were doing. And when he realized we were alone, and scared, he came over to my mother's house and spent the evening with us.

That was the first night I feel like I really bonded with my father after my parents divorced. That night, I realized that my father and I understood each other more than I could ever have imagined.

So when he started talking about the war last night, I didn't want him to stop. Even though I didn't want to agree with him � I'd like to think we're not going to war at all � I wanted to ask him to explain why he felt the way he did, but was careful not to sound condescending, or skeptical, so he'd keep talking. I'm such a little girl around my father sometimes; I love listening to him talk about the things he knows.

He also said he and Stepmunster are getting excited about coming to California for the wedding. He wants to play golf with A.'s dad. They're staying a week. I'm thrilled. They'll have so much fun here; my mother and stepfather, I'm a little more worried about. We're fearful that, because Mom and T. don't like Big City Driving, that we might have to spend the days before the wedding dropping them off at tour bus stops or trying to pry them out of their hotel room.

Again. High maintenance, low maintenance.