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1�0�101010�0�1 2002-08-27, 12:29 p.m.

the power of positive crack-smoking


After yet another evening of getting all down and out about trivial work things, I've decided to try something new.

I've decided to force myself to be positive.

As a victim of my family's hereditary problem with depression, I too often misinterpret the meaning of things so that I begin taking everything as a slight and part of a massive conspiracy to overthrow me, or at least make my life miserable.

It's twisted, but I do it. Yes, the people I work with can be crazed and negative, but I think the way I emotionally absorb it is a big part of the problem. So I'm trying really hard to stop automatically taking things the wrong way and starting each day with the basic belief that I'm liked, respected, and wanted here.

How Stuart Smalley of me.

It doesn't hurt that I have a big, second-round job interview on Friday.

My freelance client called me this morning, and I told him I won't work for peanuts anymore. I kind of hoped he'd just dropped me, because in desperation I'd agreed to do some writing for him for $10 an hour, which I quickly learned doesn't even begin to pay for losing valuable, non-work free time. I managed to talk him up to $15, but I think I'm just going to need to stand my ground next time a new client comes along.



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