Practicing being forceful and direct and not nervous around a new person. Practicing not getting nervous in the presence of somebody who doesn't know me.

I'm such a freak. This seems to come so naturally to most people, but for me, I get all sweaty-palmed. And this person is supposed to be trying to impress me.

Interesting perspective last evening: Andrew and I found a spot on the balcony at the Great American Music Hall that was directly above the stage. Which meant that we were looking down at the top of Gary Louris' curly head all night. But I could also see out into the audience from there, could see what the band saw. And I saw people who were my equals. For some reason, rather than feeling not-as-cool, I felt like a member of a community, a secret club of people with eclectic enough taste to love a band like the Jayhawks.

I'm also noticing that I'm starting to care less what people think of me, especially complete strangers. Which is refreshing.

My latest obsession is mixing CDs. I just put together a mix that is a well-assembled compilation rather than just a bunch of songs I like thrown together. And I'm proud of it. You'd think I just created art or something.