A very wise fellow diaryland member gently reminded me that I started this thing way back on some May day last year when I needed an escape, and I've never followed up with it. So perhaps I will. I actually originally found this site because a friend of mine had told me about this man she was seeing who had recorded all his philanderings dutifully in his online diary, using real names and everything. She learned of his infidelities by surfing the Web, then gave everybody his user name so they could read what scum he was for themselves. I love that story. A good lesson, I suppose, though I have very little to hide.

It's actually not that beautiful of a day -- it's gray outside, a little gloomy. Moving to California was the best thing I could have done for my depression; at least everything stays alive here in the winter, in fact, thrives and gets greener and brighter. (A. and I walked through the Presidio this weekend and the grass was a bright green, almost artificial-looking, as I would imagine it would be in someplace like Ireland.) But the lack of sunshine still makes me irritable and blue, causes me to dwell on sad times and things that hurt me. I worry about that, because we talk about moving to the Pacific Northwest, and I don't want to face a life with little sunshine and self-inflicted misery.

Jesus.

Wonder if it's time to get back on the Prozac.

Anyway! I came in early this morning to deal with a last-minute correction on an e-mail that's going out to my entire company. We're going through a reorg, but few people know that. I'm one of the few. I've always loved that, being in on secrets that nobody else knows. Don't know what it is about me, but I always seem to know what's going on before anyone else. I'm either really trustworthy or so damn nosy that nobody can keep it from me.

Tonight we're going to a Survivor party at Jen and Brian's. Jen wrote A. and me postcards thanking us for our support of her during the AIDS Marathon. She wrote "I love you! I love you! I love you! I'm so glad you're in our lives." That touched me so much, especially because I've been particularly sensitive about fitting in with A.'s tight-knit group.